Today is Wishcasting Wednesday over at Jamie Ridler Studios and for the first time I am joining in. The question for today is "What treasures do you wish for?"
There are so many tangible, material treasures that I wish for on a daily basis. The Taurus in me loves to covet those material goodies. But today I am wishing for something more meaningful, something altogether more intangible. I wish for the treasure of treasuring myself.
Motherhood and caregiving has not been the easiest road for me. As the youngest of five and being more than five years apart from the others, I developed an ability to be by myself and do whatever I chose. This has been a huge part of my adult life and while some of the lessons of learning to adapt have been valued and needed, I find myself treading water, waiting for the long-awaited opportunity to return to myself and sink deeply into the wants of my selfish soul. But my life keeps going and my girls keep needing me to fill the day with mundane tasks like diaper changing and potty trips and meals, along with those sweeter moments of togetherness, snuggles, reading on the couch, and playing. I find it is all too easy to lose the memory of who I am and who I want to be in that.
So on Wishcasting Wednesday, I wish to find a way to return to myself. With the girls playing in the peripheral space, with meals in between, with diaper changes and vomit cleaning and snot wiping and laundry, I wish to find myself among all that, within it, between the lines and imbedded in the lines. I wish to find a path back to myself, and let being me be the treasure it once was.