Monday, June 18, 2012

Fit for Failure

This summer is proving that it will be worthy of any transformation theme.  I am working hard at getting my mind straight, quieting fears and listening to my intuition about what is right for the path ahead.  Part of this process involves the detailed weighing of pros and cons about homeschooling.  I am having to peel back the layers of others' ideas that remain stuck in my head, argue against them, and then toss them aside. 

I know there are thousands and thousands of kids who are homeschooled each and every day without issue, but being that we are standing on the edge of a cliff and the drop will be the impact on my child, I want to make sure I have what it takes to make it what it should be.  So much of the school environment was about failure for me, so I'm thinking a lot about that.  I have decided I need to hold up some of that failure and look at it for what it really was. 

I failed (and for many of these, continue to fail) at the following things in public school.

1.  I failed at LINEAR THINKING.

2.  I failed at CONFORMITY.

3.  I failed at CONTEMPORARY ideals of BEAUTY, so I also failed at DATING, DANCES, AND HOMECOMING.

4.  I failed at STAYING IN THE LOOP.

5.  Okay, I failed at GEOMETRY my sophomore year, but that was really more about the task of homework than anything else.

6.  I failed at respecting ARBITRARY RULES.

7.  I failed at SITTING STILL AND PAYING ATTENTION FOR SEVEN HOURS AT A TIME.

I think it's time to own some of the things I excelled and that did not quite fit with the public school format.

1.  I excelled at DREAMING.

2.  I excelled at USING MY IMAGINATION.

3.  I excelled at BEING DIFFERENT.

4.  I excelled at WANTING MORE.

5.  I excelled at PASSING TESTS EVEN WHEN MY HEAD WAS "STUCK IN THE CLOUDS."

6.  Yes, sometimes I excelled at extra-curricular activities, like BASKETBALL and THEATRE.

7.  I excelled at LEARNING VERY LITTLE, and still managing to get the same degree everyone else got.

If given the opportunity to excel in whatever they choose, I wonder what would stir the hearts of my daughters?

2 comments:

  1. I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. I didn't know I was a good student until I was almost done with my BA. I kept thinking someone would discover how awful I was. Somewhere along the way I became mostly confident. Finally. Good luck with your path.

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    1. I didn't know I could be a good student until I was in graduate school. And it wasn't until then I realized how much better a student I was when I had personal interest in the subject matter! I'm hoping to flesh out some of the things I have been taught to think about public school that might not really be true. And then maybe I can let those old ideas go and embrace new, useful ideas! Thanks for stopping by!

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