Thursday, September 20, 2012

The Rooted Path

I have been all over the place with intentions.  I have been here, there, up, down, drowning in indecision, overwhelmed with inadequacy.  But always, my heart would beg for following an intuitive path.  And always, my heart would find itself thriving on the holistic path.

They seemed separate to me.  Separate and far out of reach.  It has always felt like one or the other, or neither.  I can't tell you how many times I have faced my own failure, faced the lack of success that has come from my non-linear existence, looked at myself in the mirror and wondered how I would ever come back to that mirror and be willing to look again.

I have wanted to succeed.  I have tried to force myself into that square box and succeed in the way that others want me to succeed.

But it's just not who I am.  It's not who my soul is.  It's not what path I have been travelling and it sure as hell isn't the path ahead of me.  Like a shamanic call, my soul has been called to the creative, intuitive, holistic path, all wrapped into one.  Sometimes they mesh.  Sometimes they don't.  But it is what is real to me, what matters at the end of the day when I put my children to bed.  And no matter how hard I've tried to become better at something else, this part of me won't go away.

So I'm giving in.  I'm surrendering that other fight, so that maybe I can pick up another one, a fight to thrive, a fight to be the best me, and share the best things I have to share, and teach the best things that I have to teach.  How else can I go back to that mirror and turn on the light, and look myself square in the eyes?  How else can I lift my head in the morning and see that I am sharing the world I want my girls to live in?  How else can I look into the future and know that whatever comes next, this moment was ripe with rightness and that my truth might just have helped someone else find their own truth, their own path?

My rooted path is a path of healing and intuition, hands-on wellness, and hearts-on guidance.  Massage, herbs, the sacred hearth, the green Earth, and divine guidance.  In my world now, there is no separation between these things and I am honored to share what comes from the deepest, most authentic place inside me.

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